Lisa Myers Bulmash

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Book of Bulmash, chapter 95

Chapter 95

Photo credit: Library of Congress

  1. "O Mother!" cried the nine-year-old child. "I have great need of apparel which beareth the image of my school mascot!"
  2. "Therefore must thou complete the order form so I may bring it to school on this, the day of deadline."
  3. The mother half-pretended not to hear the boy's plea,
  4. For her ears were still ringing with his most recent morning tantrum.
  5. Then the mother replied to her son, "Thou seemest not to understand a fundamental principle of obtaining thy heart's desire;
  6. "Namely, that one must not enrage the person whom you beseech for a favor."
  7. And thus the mother closed her ears to the child's renewed howling.
  8. She delivered him unto the place of learning, as was her duty.
  9. But as she returned to their home to perform her ablutions before journeying to her place of employ, the mother reconsidered.
  10. For was this day not the eve of giving thanks?
  11. Should she not be grateful that her child had not enraged his teacher as well, and set the teacher's heart against him in the classroom?
  12. Indeed, should the mother not give praise to The One for the continued good health of her children and her husband?
  13. "I shall not acknowledge to my son that I have ordered his apparel," she grumbled to herself. "For that would send The Wrong Message regarding his behavior."
  14. Nevertheless the mother did swallow her pride, and wrote out the necessary cheque of payment to the school's PTA