Book of Bulmash, chapter 103

1. The mother peered into her coffee cup, trying to name the peculiar experience in which she found herself.
2. Had her soul left her body without her notice? Had she awoken to life in another universe?
3. Was the Apocalypse truly upon the family?
4. For the nine year-old had arisen from his bed with very little resistance that dawn.
5. The child recounted to his mother that he had resisted the temptation to sneak downstairs to the kitchen at midnight;
6. He had consumed a snack, but not one forbidden to him at that hour;
7. And further, the child announced, "I refrained from eating my snack upstairs in my bed --- nay, I ate at the kitchen table as I should.
8. "And then I cleaned up after my snack and returned to my bed to sleep."
9. The mother's eyes scanned the kitchen, but found no evidence to disprove the child's tale.
10. With some effort, she closed her slack jaw.
11. Meanwhile, the boy proceeded to consume his breakfast and morning dietary supplementation.
12. Then a great and nearly-incomprehensible revelation dawned in the mother's mind:
13. The child was Following Directions... without being goaded into this behavior by maternal rage and frustration.
14. The family was witnessing a morning ritual that would nourish all, body and soul.
15. The mother made sure to thank her son with genuine gratitude, bestowing a kiss to the forehead.
16. Then she returned to her caffeine and thanked the Almighty for what was surely a hallucination that would vanish with the rising sun.